I added on to my list of resolutions for this year. I came up with it the other morning during the drive back to civilization, and I'll mention the changes here and eventually add them to my actual list.
7. Quit smoking weed. I pretty much already have, but I want to be strict about it. I want to make sure my perception, memory, and grades are sharp. I was also pretty depressed by how hard it was to sing when I finally rejoined chorus, so I know I need to permanently stop, so I can do better.
Yep. Now, let's get on to some uninteresting things that I think!
1. Scars are cool, no doubt. Just not all of them. I honestly think scarring should be optional, but I'm not sure who you could talk to in order to coordinate that.
2. If you need subtitles to understand a foreigner speaking English in a documentary (not because you're hearing impaired), then why even have that person speak in English in the film?! They clearly speak another language as a first language. Why can't the filmmakers translate it for us? I think (1) if you're too dumb to understand a foreigner, then just don't watch the documentary; and (2) documentary makers don't need to assume we're that goddamn stupid. (It'll make us smarter anyway.)
3. I don't know why they canceled the show Mercy. It got me through some goddamn awful times, and it isn't a bad show at all. I understand low ratings, but it happens. Take a leap of faith, broadcasting companies, because it was a pretty good show! I think season 2 needs to happen.
4. I rarely have nightmares about scary things (the Boogeyman, Slenderman, rapists). I think it's actually worse this way.
5. I don't know how people have found the time to watch a million classic movies, to learn the names of actors, to read the most important books of our time. I don't -- I really don't. I feel like I'm missing out on something, and it actually pains me. It physically feels wrong. I know that I could fix it by watching these movies, studying these actors, and reading these books, but I don't have the time to do all three of those things, and I don't know that I could ever see/learn/read it all! I think I'll stick to music anyway.
6. Gotta throw this one in here. I really hate constellations. I don't think they look at all like what they are named after, and fuck you if you do!
So, New Year's Eve. Like I said, I went up to the kuntttreee with some friends, and it was pretty laid back. I'm not exactly sure how I felt about it, because I was sort of uncomfortable. Our fourth wasn't a good friend of mine, and he's incredibly outgoing, and argh! Sort of an annoying one, an idea Erin proposed. I didn't really enjoy drinking either. Honestly, I had two rum Jell-O shots, some beer in a game of beer pong, a little tequila, and champagne at midnight (of course!). I didn't overindulge, but I did sample things I don't often drink, and it was enough. That sounds like a lot when I read it back, though. I promise it wasn't.
So, what else happened? I'll just list, then post some pictures, and we can move on. We ate spaghetti, listened to '70s and '90s music (huh? I don't know!), had a bonfire, munched out, had some very inappropriate but hilarious games of MadLibs, watched Inception, watched TV, and went to bed at around 3. I slept in Luther's bed, and he kept me up until about 4 chitchatting about drunken nonsense. He doesn't always make sense sober either, so, eh. The next day, we woke up at about 12 and headed back out on the 42-ish mile drive, playing more MadLibs on the way. It was a rainy ass day, man, and it was not pleasant. I got home at around 2:30, watched some of The Office (US) while filling out my FAFSA, and took a nap. I woke up at about 8 and then got straight to work on my college applications. Woo, I finished with 10 minutes 'til midnight! I was scared as fuck. I actually really enjoyed writing my personal essay, and I might share it. It's a decent one methinks.
Interesting stuff, though. While it was a pain in the ass because, like I said, I was doing my college applications, Luther called me and talked to me for an hour and a half. The start of the conversation was a bit strange. I thought he was angry at me! He started off kind of mumbly and rambletastic, not addressing me as he normally does ("Herro, manzanita! ¿Cómo estás?"), and said he knew our relationship (friendship!) was strained and not as it used to be. I'll be honest. Our friendship has been very strained, because he does too many drugs. I have luckily been able to get to his problems in relative check. He needs a serious wake up call, and while I'm hopeful, I don't think this one is it. He's been trying to quit smoking cigarettes, and I have bitched him up and down when I see his eyes even look at a pack of 27's, because I knew he needed to quit before turning 18. But he didn't. That, sadly, is not the worst of his problems. I don't know what to do, though. And you know what? I'm mostly sick of trying and I have lost so many friends to this shit that I am truly reeling from the constant loss.
Ugh. And you know what else? I quite miss my ex-boyfriend. We just broke up about 3 weeks ago.
This better be a good year. Here's some interesting photos from New Year's Eve:
I have to respect the privacy of my friends (Katya is a pseudonym anyway), so I won't post too many. I might in the future add more, but I don't want to bother anyone or easily reveal my own identity or other's. But don't worry! I'm not famous or special or important, so it's not important, but whatever. Gotta spice up my life somehow.
I should start reading and writing more this year. Yep.
That is all.
I should probably proofread this, but I don't feel like it right now.
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